Just because I'm 30 doesn't mean I have to act it
by Lady Starbright
Summary: Jon pulls a prank on Alanna who, not suprisingly, get's a bit cross.
1. Slime

Slime

The Lioness was in a bad mood. A very bad mood. That morning, she had woken up in her room at the palace covered in green slime. The slime was incredibly  
sticky, and she soon discovered, it was very hard to wash off. She had looked at the slime, using her gift, and had seen a faint shimmer of sapphire blue, that  
had made her even more annoyed.

"I can't believe he is still playing tricks on me!" She walked through the corridors, her face the picture of anger.

She flung open the door to the King's office yelling at the top of her voice, "You are so low Jon!"

"Alanna," Jon replied, as always, he was calm, "what are you talking about?"

"The covering me in slime part, did that slip your mind?" asked Alanna, tauntingly.

Jon collapsed with laughter and screaming, "You fell for it! You fell for it!" He continued to laugh until he fell out of his chair.

At this point Alanna turned to Thayet who had been sitting next to Jon and asked, "Would it be treason if I killed him now?"

"No," replied Thayet, "it would be justified."

A/N: So what do you think? Please review!

* * *

Updated: 5th of July '07 

Beta: Stargazer777


	2. Flour

**A/N: **Thanks NealansGirl, Dark.Angel.of.Tortall-007 and iluvchocs for reviewing this! I'm glad you like it!

Flour

"Revenge," pondered Alanna as she sat in the mess hall at the rider barracks. "How can I get revenge?"

"Plotting against my husband again?" asked Thayet.

"I highly doubt that putting a frog in his bed is treason," replied Alanna.

I'm not having a frog in my bed, thank you very much!" she answered.

"Oh sorry, I forgot! That rules out that idea," replied Alanna. "I think I'll cover him in flour and water before he has to appear at court."

A smile spread across Thayet's face. "I like it."

Jon had just put on his best royal blue tunic, as well as a shirt and breeches, and was just about to make his grand entrance into his court. He pushed open the door and strode through. A resounding crash echoed around the ballroom.

* * *

He stood at the entrance scowling. He was covered in a flour and water paste. The entire court stared, stunned, in silence, the only noise the occasional drip as the flour paste hit the floor.

"Excuse me," he said as he fled the room, a smile lighting up his champion's face.

* * *

**A:N: **Please review! 


	3. Notebooks

Notebooks

"Why did you do that to me?" demanded Jon, who was sitting behind his desk opposite Alanna.

"Why did you cover me in slime Jon? Hmm?" she asked in return.

"I could charge you for treason Lanna!" yelled Jon.

"I hardly think that death by embarrassment counts as treason," replied Alanna.

"There must be a punishment for this!" said Jon.

"You have nothing against me Jon."

"Yes I do, ask anyone you like!" he replied.

"OK then. Hey Gary!" called Alanna. Gary entered immediately.

"How did you get him here so fast?" cried Jon.

"Always come prepared Jon, always come prepared," she replied.

"But he doesn't do that for me," sulked Jon. "Why don't you do that for me Gary? I'm the King."

"Ahh, why I don't do that for you, let me see," began Gary. "Oh yes, you suffer from a slight lack of manners when talking to me. You are all charm when it comes to the members of your court but when it comes to those friends which you have known for many years, you seem to be less than… Oh dear what does that say, oh yes, less than gracious."

"Have you been writing on your hands again Gary?" asked Alanna.

"It's not my fault there's a nationwide shortage of notebooks, is it _Jon_?" he demanded.

"Well I needed them! I had to be the first to have my statue made from notebooks!" replied Jon.

At this point Thayet entered the room. "I'm sure you did dear, I'm sure you did." She soothed Jon, who calmed down at the sound of his wife's voice. As she walked past Alanna to sit next to her husband she whispered in her ear. "Let me know when you're meeting to make plans."


	4. Meetings

**A/N:** Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this! They make my day!

Meetings

The mess hall was full of noise. "So Thayet, how was your day?" asked Buri.

"Oh the normal, angry Scanrans, conservatives and Alanna's trying to end Jon's reign."

"Which one 'cos if it's his reign over Tortall that's treason," she inquired.

"His reign of appalling jokes, which quite frankly I support the end of," she replied.

"I know what you mean! Remember that time when he scattered flowers over my head and thought it was hilarious?" she asked.

"That was bad," stated Thayet.

"He does make quite a good slime though."

"He's already done that. That's what started all this," she replied.

"Why start with his best prank?" Buri asked.

"I don't know."

Alanna came at sat down next to Thayet with her dinner. They chatted for a while about court among other things.

"How would you like to have tea at 8 in Raoul's office?" asked Alanna.

"Tea? Since when did you invite people over for tea?" said a rather confused Thayet.

"Yes, we're going to talk about what Jon's been up to recently" said Alanna, gently nudging Thayet.

"Oh," knowledge dawning on Thayet's face. "That tea. Who's coming?"

"Raoul, George, Numair, Daine, me, you. Do you want to come Buri?" she asked.

"Anything to not be attacked with flowers," she replied.

"Yes, that was bad." Alanna said.

"Why isn't Gary coming, I thought he would like to help?" inquired Thayet.

"Oh he's got to see Duke Baird. He's had a mental break-down because of the notebook incident. He was absolutely distraught when he ran out of space on his arms," Alanna told her.

"Poor Gary" murmured Buri.

"Well see you at eight!" sang Alanna as she got up from eating.

* * *

**A/N:** What do you think? Please let me know! 


	5. Frogs

**A/N:** Sorry this is so short, but there will be more soon!

Frogs

He slipped silently into Alanna's quarters. He paused at her bed, and then, as silently as he had come, left.

Alanna flopped down on her bed, she was exhausted. She had just come back from the meeting with the others, all they had managed to do was come up with a few possible plans and decided how awful Jon was at playing jokes. She lay quietly listening to her breathing for a while when a noise interrupted the calm.

"Ribbit, ribbit!" it came.

She leapt up crying "Frogs! Frogs! He can't do better than that! Well, I'll show him a real trick!"


	6. Signs

**A/N: **Wow, I'm so pleased! I updated twice in one day! Please review!

Signs

"I can't think how to get back at him! Well, nothing good at least," said a rather annoyed Alanna.

"Leave it to me Alanna, leave it to me," said Gary, a glint appearing in his eyes.

"Are you sure Gary? I'm not sure if you could think of something," her apprehension showing in her voice.

"Don't worry, I've already got something in mind," he replied.

* * *

Jon strode through the palace halls. He'd finally managed to get his favourite royal blue tunic clean after the flour incident. He was joined by Alanna and Gary who wanted to talk about the state of the war with Scanra. As they entered Jon's study Alanna pulled Gary aside for a moment.

"Your master plan was to put a sign on his back saying 'Destroyer of Notebooks'! What kind of a name is that!" whispered an infuriated Alanna.

"But it's true Lanna! And it's kind of got a ring to it! Destroyer of notebooks, destroyer of notebooks! It's great!" said a very happy Gary. An annoyed groan was the only reply he got from Alanna.


	7. Dinner

**A/N:** Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this! Thanks to Farfala for pointing out my mistake about the time of the meeting – it was supposed to be eight. This chapter is for iluvchocs (you will see why) and all my other absolutely fantastic reviewers!

Dinner

"Why did we let _him_ decide on what to do? _Why?_" demanded Alanna.

"He said he had a good idea, and stupidly we believed him!" said a rather agitated Raoul.

"I'll think of something Raoul, and I mean something better than sticking signs on his back!" yelled Alanna.

"Calm down Lanna!" he shouted back. "I'm sure you'll find a way to get back at him."

"I will, just not today," she murmured, smiling mischievously.

"Oh hello Lanna, Raoul! How are you?" asked a still overly cheerful Gary.

"Why are you so pleased?" she groaned.

"My plan worked so well! Loads of people laughed and I have already planned something for this evening!" beamed Gary, almost jumping up and down with excitement.

"Gary, people were laughing at the stupidity of it!" she yelled. "And what on earth have you got planned for this evening?"

"You'll see, you'll see," he replied.

"I hate it when you plot Gary" moaned Raoul.

* * *

Alanna, Gary, Raoul and Buri sat round a table shortly below the high table where the royalty sat. They had been made to attend the dinner in honour of the Scanran ambassadors. Gary was nearly clapping his hands from expectation.

"This is going to be great!" squeaked Gary.

"Great like your little joke yesterday?" asked Buri.

"Wasn't it just?" Gary asked, still squeaking.

"Gary, can't you recognise sarcasm when you here it?" asked Raoul in return.

"Oh be quiet! He's getting up, you'll see my great plan!" said Gary, his voice going scarily high.

"Great is it?" murmured Alanna.

Jon stood up, nodded to his court and gestured to the Scanran ambassadors to follow him. As he turned around Gary burst into laughter as a sign on Jon's back became visible. It clearly read 'Kick me'.


	8. The After Dinner Ball

**A/N: **This is just a little warning. The last few chapters I updated very fast, I will probably NEVER update that fast again! Thanks to Dark.Angel.of.Tortal-007 for the idea for this chapter.

The After-Dinner Ball

Jon gestured to his court to follow him through to the ballroom. The court walked after Jon, though in Gary's case dragged, to the ballroom. As they continued to the ballroom Jon felt several sharp pains at the base of his back. Eventually he turned round, an exasperated look on his face, searching for the person who was the cause of the pain.

"Alanna, what have you done now?" he asked.

"This was not my idea! I think it's completely pointless and stupid!" she replied, rather loudly.

"So, funny" murmured Gary between laughs.

"Excuse me Your Majesty," inquired one of the Scanran ambassadors, "if I am thinking correctly the sign pinned to your, and I must say wonderful, tunic, was not meant to be followed?"

"You thought you were meant to do what it said! Who follows a sign which says 'kick me', especially when it's on the King's back?" yelled Alanna.

"Oh, we thought it was a tradition," replied the ambassador. _Well,_ he thought, _they had been told to try and please the King._

"What exactly are you all talking about?" demanded Jon.

"Honestly Jon, it's so bad you really don't want to know," replied Alanna.

"It's not bad!" cried Gary. "It's funny!"

* * *

**A/N: **Please if anyone has any ideas for pranks please let me know because I'm running out of ideas! I have a BANG for the end but I don't want that to happen yet! 


	9. Fire and Water

**A/N: **Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed this and gave me suggestions for pranks! I think I'm going to use lots more of them so this fic may end up being longer than I originally thought! Thanks to the anonymous reviewer aj for the suggestion for this chapter. It's Jon's turn to pull a prank next, any ideas?

Fire and Water

She smiled at the small ball of fire that she had cast in her hand. It shimmered with the purple of her gift. Gently she nudged it out of her hand and towards a certain black haired, blue eyed king.

Still smiling she heaved herself out from behind the bush she was hiding in and joined Raoul who was waiting for her just down the path. Alana and Raoul broke into a jog to catch up with Jon. By the time they reached him the back of his hair was beginning to sizzle nicely. For a while they chatted with Jon, just enjoying the fact that someone's hair could be gently burning and them not knowing about it.

"Oh Jon, wait a minute will you?" called a voice.

"Certainly dear, what do you want?" he asked.

Thayet caught up with them "I just wanted to ask you about what was going to happen on… Jon did you know your hair was on fire?"

"My hair's on fire?" he repeated. He raised his hands up to his head but drew them away pretty quickly. He'd discovered he didn't like having his hands scorched.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!!!" Jon screamed. He began to panic, turning wildly in circles. He eventually spotted some hope. A pond. Without thinking he ran towards it and threw himself into the rather brown water. A loud splash rang round the garden.

* * *

Jon sat staring at himself in a mirror. He was far from happy. His hair had been reduced to a short crop with singed edges. "What am I going to do?" he wailed.

"Wear a hat."

"Run away."

"Hide."

"This is horrible! My hair, my hair! My wondrous hair!" said Jon, still wailing.

"It's not that bad dear," said Thayet in an attempt to comfort her husband.

"Yes it is," retorted the others in the room.


	10. Buckets

**A/N:** First, major apology. This chapter was very slow coming and I have no real excuse, the best I can do is say that real life got in the way of true happiness. I'm not too sure about this chapter though I think the idea is great, thanks to iluvchocs, I just couldn't write it (stupid writers block!), I fear science and media studies are killing my imagination. I will try and make updates quicker but I'm not at home much over the Christmas holidays so I don't know if it will happen. Now, on with the story!

Buckets

"Perfect," smiled Jon. He shared a small giggle with himself, well there was no one there to share his laughter with. That's what happens when you lie awake in bed until three in the afternoon when you should be running a country.

* * *

Jon leaned back on his throne. He had just set up his little joke which, if all went as planned, would embarrass his champion in front of everyone. A slightly manic smile stretched across his face.

"Presenting Ambassador Frederick Trumpton of Scanra and his wife Anne Trumpton!" cried the herald. There was a huge crash as a rather disgruntled ambassador entered the great hall.

"What is the meaning of this?" yelled the ambassador as he appeared from the doorway thoroughly drenched in water.

"My sincerest apologies, I do not know what happened," explained Jon, he didn't want the discussions with Scanra to be called off.

* * *

"Presenting Lord Marcus of Berry Vine in Tyra!" announced the herald. Yet again there was a huge crash as a soaking Lord entered he ballroom.

* * *

"Presenting Sir Arthur of Raymouth!" called the herald. The was, another, crash. Thayet had begun wondering how Jon had the time to go back and reset the prank every time it went wrong, which so far, was every time.

* * *

"Excuse me Your Majesty," inquired a voice of a Lady who had just entered through the side door, "do you know why those ambassadors got covered in water?"

"Well my Lady," he began to answer as he turned around, "Alanna?"

"Yes Your Majesty that is my name. I thought you would know that my now, or had it slipped your memory?"

"But, but" he stammered, "it was fool-proof!"

"Obviously not."

"It, it was, b-b-brr-illiant though!"

"Jon dear, you're stuttering again," interrupted Thayet.


	11. My teddy

**A/N:** Firstly, sorry for the slow update, I meant to update sooner but other things got in the way. Thanks for the prank idea in this chapter go to iluvchocs again! And the credit for the club goes to Freida Right. Oh, and thanks to everyone has reviewed!

"Alanna dear, why do you have to prank him back when his last one didn't even work?" asked Thayet as her and several others were sitting down to a meeting of the 'plot against Jon' club.

"We all know your just saying that so when it happens Jon won't be mad at you," answered Alanna.

"Well I either have to know nothing or at least say I tried," she informed Alanna.

There were a few moments of silence as all present members of the club tried to think of something to do until Gary called out "I got it!"

"Nothing to do with notebooks," groaned Alanna.

"Oh," he replied and silenced filled the room again until Raoul started humming, causing all participants of the club, other than Gary, to glare at him.

"I have an idea," murmured George.

* * *

"Ah!" cried his wife. "Maybe now we'll have a sensible, _plausible_ plan." 

"Where's my teddy! I want my teddy! I want Squeaker!" yelled a voice which bore remarkable resemblance to that of a five year old.

"Now, now dear," soothed Thayet in her best calming wife voice. "I'm sure he'll turn up soon Jon."

"But I want Squeaker now!" he wailed. "I can't sleep without Squeaker!"

"I'm sure you can manage for one night dear," said Thayet, who inwardly was thinking 'thank the Goddess I don't have to sleep with that mangy fur ball any more.'

* * *

"Look Raoul!" called Alanna, pointing to a sign pinned to the mess hall door. 

"What?" he groaned, Alanna had dragged him out of bed at some ungodly hour for some early morning training.

"The sign you idiot!" she cried. Raoul looked up and read the sign, which stated:

Lost!

Teddy Bear.

Brown, furry and much loved.

Reward 50 gold nobles.

"I can't believe it!" laughed Raoul.

"But who got his teddy bear? It never leaves his room," asked Gary, who had obviously not being paying attention in the last meeting of 'plot against Jon' club.

"We all have our special skills Gary. Don't we?" smirked George, as he tapped the side of his nose.

**A/N:** Please review!


	12. No one likes losing their teddy

**A/N:** Sorry this took so long, I've been a bit busy, and I'm currently being attacked by rabid plot bunnies, which I am trying to ignore. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed!

No one likes losing their teddy

A loud rapping noise rang through the corridor as Raoul knocked on a small wooden door. It opened with a slight creak, as a head popped round the side.

"Ah, Sir Raoul! Sir Gareth! How can I help you?" asked the head.

"Can we come in?" asked Raoul.

"Certainly, certainly!" he cried in reply as he opened the door. "So what brings you to my quarters?"

"We are here on a most grave matter," said Raoul, whilst he thought 'I can't believe I'm doing this.' "Please have a seat."

"Have I done something wrong?"

"No, we're just following instructions. So, are you Paul Wheelwright, his Majesty's valet?" inquired Raoul.

"Yes I am, but why, may I ask, do you wish to know this?"

"We are investigating the recent break-in of the King's quarters," replied Gary, puffing out his chest and trying to look important. This was made rather hard by the fact that he was reading his little 'speech' off his hand again.

"I thought Alanna told you not to say anything?" snapped Raoul.

"Well yeah," Gary whined, "but that's no fun!"

"Just be quiet will you? Now, Master Wheelwright, where were you on the night of the 27th of August?" asked Raoul.

"I was serving His Majesty and then I went to an inn, The Jolly Boatman, and then I went to bed." Wheelwright replied.

"Can anyone confirm your whereabouts?"

"Yes… His Majesty, the inn keeper, the bar maids at the inn, everyone in the inn, the guards saw me return and I spoke to cook before I went to bed."

"Thank Mr Wheelwright, do you have any idea who could possibly have stolen the possession of His Majesty's known as 'Squeaker'?" Raoul asked.

"I honestly I don't know, why would someone want to steal a _teddy bear_?"

"How many other people do we have to interview Raoul?" moaned Gary.

"According to Jon's 'provisional' list, 57 more," Raoul answered.

"57! We have to see 57 more!"

"Who ever said that we would actually talk to them," smirked Raoul.

"But Jon said we had to!"

"Gary, Gary, Gary," soothed Raoul. "Don't you know the meaning of the word provisional?"

"Er…"

To which Raoul started literally banging his head against the wall, rather forcefully.

* * *

"This way, this way! All teddy bears on the pile please!" cried a sergeant.

"Mama, no! Please don't take Fluffy away!" wailed a small child, who was probably no older than 5.

"No! I'm sorry Tim but we need the money, the King will be ever so pleased!" replied his mother as she knelt down beside him.

"But it can't be his teddy mama! I've had him for years," said the boy, who looked to be on the verge of tears.

"We need the money Tim! I'm sorry but we have to!" yelled the mother at which point Tim finally lost it and burst into floods of tears.

* * *

"Not fair! Not fair! Not fair! I wanna my teddy bear!"

"Grammar!"

"Sorry Thayet," apologised Jon. "I want my teddy, is that right?"

"Yes Jon, well done. Though I'm sorry Squeeky can't come at the moment," soothed Thayet.

"Why not? Why not? Why not?" he wailed.

"Er, he's gone on a holiday, anice sunny holiday I the Yamani Isles," she lied.

"Oh! Will he be coming home?"

"At some point I'm sure Jon, just not yet."

"Ok! Thank you Thayet!" grinned Jon who gave her a quick peck on the cheek as he skipped out of the room.

* * *

"You mean we went and asked ALL the servants, for nothing!" yelled Raoul.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know he'd asked you to do that," apologised Thayet.

"What I want to know is why you stopped his suffering!" screamed Alanna.

"Have you heard him wail?" moaned Thayet, "he's worse than a two year old!"

"Oh I'm sorry Thayet, but it was a great prank," replied Alanna.

"Yeah, it was good, and he'll throw another fit in a few weeks when Squeeky hasn't returned from his 'holiday.'"

"Ah, some of my best work," smirked George.

**A/N: **Please review, they make me happy!


	13. The colours clash

**A/N:** I am _very _sorry for how long this took. I really am. The reason(s) this is so late is that I had exams as well as being in a number of shows and a science competition, which has been taking up a lot of my time. I'll try and get the next (and last!) chapter up soon but I haven't got a completely free day for 2 weeks so it might not be that quick, but I'll try. Again, sorry it took so long. And please review!

This chapter is dedicated to anoymous reviewer Me who suggested this prank.

* * *

Alanna was drifting through the streets of the lowers city searching for some sword polish. 'Really,' she thought 'why did I have to run out of polish when I have far more important things to do? Oh Mithros, what if Gary starts plotting before I get back!' And with that rather disturbing thought, she quickened her pace. 

"The evil man took away my teddy for no reason! He's a bad, bad man mummy!" a voice yelled.

"The King is not a bad man and does great things!" reprimanded his mother.

"But he took Fluffy!" the small boy wailed.

"Be quiet before you're accused of treason!" his mother whispered harshly.

"Excuse me," asked Alanna, who had a rather evil glint appear in her eyes, "could I speak to your son?"

The woman stood there in shock for several moments before Alanna reminded her of her question, "he didn't mean it m'lady! He's young an' all, doesn't know what he's saying!"

"No, no, no! He hasn't down anything wrong!" Alanna laughed. "Can I have a word?"

"Sure," replied the boy, who was beginning to shake.

"Now," she began as she drew him to one side and bent down to his height, "how would you get back at the man who took your teddy?" With a rather wicked gleam in his eyes and many hand gestures the small boy explained his idea, which Alanna had to admit was better than some things she'd heard from 30 year-olds. Actually, she realised, this small boy sounded more grown-up than either Gary or Jon, but that actually didn't prove very much.

* * *

The next morning Alanna fell out of her bed in her rooms at the palace with a thump. She groaned and pulled herself up before staggering towards a bowl of water. She splashed her face with some water in a vain attempt to wake herself up. She began to put her clothes on whilst still trying to stay awake. She continued in this half-asleep fashion until she caught sight of herself in a mirror, at which point she froze in shock. 

"By the Goddess, he's done something half decent!" she exclaimed.

* * *

"Welcome everyone to the first ball of the Midwinter festival!" called Jon, "I hope you all have a pleasant time and enjoy the festivities!" 

"So dear," began Thayet as Jon sat down again, "how are things between you and Alanna now?"

"Marvellous, just marvellous!" smiled Jon, grinning from ear to ear.

"Are you sure? You two weren't getting on particularly well yesterday" she asked.

"Oh no, we're getting on just fine now," answered Jon.

"Of course we are" beamed Alanna, standing resplendent with fluorescent green hair.

"Y-your hair," stuttered Jon. "It's still green! It's still green!" And with that he started to dance with happiness.

"Yes, don't you think it matches my eyes?"


	14. Why can't you behave normally?

**A/N:** I am _incredibly_ sorry about how long this took. I had notes for this chapter (the one chapter I actually had planned from the start!) which I lost. I found them just before school started again. I've just gone into year 10 so I've had a load more homework, as well as some course work and I just haven't had time. Along with attending choir and having to go to after school ICT sessions. Again, I'm really sorry.

This is the last chapter of this fic (I'm very sad!) so I really hope you enjoy it. It's much longer than any of the other chapters (nearly three pages in word which is quite a lot for me!). I hope you like it and please leave a review.

**Why can't you behave normally?** – for everyone who has ever reviewed this fic.

"We're taking orders from a _child?_" asked a rather shocked Gary, "a _child?_"

"We are _not _taking orders from a child," replied Alanna, whose patience was beginning to wear rather thin. This was about the sixth time she'd had to explain it to him. She was actually beginning to think it was a bad idea telling him about the meeting. Well, actually no one _had_ to told him, he'd just turned up. "We are taking _suggestions_ Gary, no if you can't think of anything else to say please kindly shut up."

"On what basis has it been decided that we should follow these plans put together by a minor?" asked Gary, showing more intelligence than normal. Well, a great deal more intelligence than normal.

"Gary, shut up," snapped Thayet.

* * *

"So we're all set?" asked George quietly. It was the next day and they were having a last minute meeting. And to everyone's relief, Gary was not there – none of them could face explaining the plan to him _again._

"Yes," replied Alanna, "I've got everything ready." A rather evil smile graced her face, one which you wouldn't expect to see on the face of Tortall's so called Champion.

"So, does everyone know what they're meant to be doing?" she asked, glancing around at the faces of the other members of the group. Both Thayet and Buri looked the picture of calm but Alanna knew that both of them wanted to do this as much as she did. Raoul looked quite eager, even though he only had a small part to play. Alanna reckoned he'd have a great time watching. And George, George had a rather unnerving glint in his eye. '_Well, what can you expect from the former King of Thieves?'_ she thought.

There were various nods of agreement and murmured yeses from the assembled group. Alanna grinned at them, excitement showing on her face and her eyes sparkling. "Lets go then!"

* * *

"Oh hello Alanna," said Jon as he entered his study. He hadn't expected to see her at all today; he'd thought she said she was going to be out riding all today. '_Ah well,'_ he thought, '_I wonder what she wants?'_

Alanna rose from where she was sitting in front of Jon's desk, as did her companion. She curtsied deeply whilst the man with her bowed low. "Your Majesty," they both murmured.

"Your Majesty, this is my husband, Baron George of Pirate's Swoop. I do believe you have met before?" asked Alanna.

"An honour Your Majesty," George said to Jon, before turning to face Alanna and telling her "We have met before my Lady."

"Okay," muttered Jon to himself as he sat down behind his desk. He picked up some papers and scanned down them before looking back at Alanna and George. "Alanna, you are required to fight on the Scanran border as things are beginning to reach a head there."

"Fight Your Majesty!" exclaimed Alanna. "I am a lady, Your Majesty, my place is at home not on the battle field!" She paused then added humbly, "However if you wish me to fight I shall, Your Majesty knows best of course."

"Right," said Jon, unsettles by Alanna's sudden display of lack of nerve. "Now George, about your spies…" he began.

"Spies Your Majesty!" cried George before Jon could finish his sentence. "That is not how a war should be fought; war is for knights not _spies_. I am deeply insulted that you would suggest that I would be involved in such a scandal!"

"Maybe we should talk about this some other time," suggested Jon, a slightly unnerved look on his face. "On to the next matter then, there is a…" he began, before the second time in as many minutes he was cut off.

He heard a cry coming from the hall, and looked up sharply. Thayet burst into the room followed quickly by both Raoul and Buri.

"Your Majesty, Your Majesty!" Thayet wailed loudly, hurting Jon's ear drums.

"My Queen," said a desperate Buri, "I do not think this is an appropriate way to be carrying yourself."

Thayet stoically ignored Buri, treating her as if she was nothing. "My Lord, please," she pleaded to Jon.

"What is it dear?" Jon asked, fairly concerned about his wife.

"Darling," she began, her voice several notes higher than normal. "The guard just told me I should change into shirt and breeches if I was planning on going out with the riders." She paused for a mere moment before carrying on with her tirade. "Please tell me I don't have to go dearest. I can't possibly wear breeches and shirt instead of a dress, it would be sinful. And horses are so dirty, so much mud! They also thought that I wouldn't ride side saddle, riding side saddle is the only way a lady can ride without being disgraced. The mere thought is preposterous!"

"Your Majesty," interrupted Raoul who looked incredibly sincere, "I do not think that you are conducting yourself in an appropriate manner."

"Please say I don't have to go Your Majesty!" begged Thayet, ignoring Raoul's comment.

Jon had had enough by this point. He snapped. "What has gotten into you lot today?" yelled Jon.

"I think it would be best if we left His Majesty," said Alanna, not answering his question.

"That maybe best Lady Alanna," replied a suddenly calm Thayet.

"I believe that would be best," agreed Alanna, as she rose and began to leave along with the others in the room.

* * *

"That was so much fun!" laughed Alanna as she strolled around the gardens with her fellow pranksters.

"I have to agree, that must have been one smart kid," said a grinning George.

"He was very upset about losing his teddy," replied Alanna softly. George laughed and squeezed her hand tight.

"Hello you lot," said Gary who had just come round a corner. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing Gary, nothing," replied Alanna, trying not to laugh.

"Did you prank Jon without me?" he demanded.

"No of course not," said Buri.

"You did didn't you? How could you? How could you?" Gary yelled.


End file.
